i've been eating (for you)
i don't push my fingers through my guts
anymore
when a plate is placed in front of me
i command the fork to my mouth
almost forcing it
not to refuse every single bit of nutrients
my body needs to stay alive
i try my best
not to shove it off the toilet minutes after.
i've been eating (for you, my love),
and there's a slight hurt in my stomach
whenever i remember what i'm doing
but come to think of it,
the ache was already there before i started getting better.
the worst part is
i'm not even sure that i'm getting better.
i'm just getting darker,
unlike my stomach.
which for you, precious,
isn't empty anymore.
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